Wow. Looking back on the fact that the last time I have been here to actually submit something or write something has been over a year? That depresses me. Where has my life gone?

Should I give you all a brief update? Starting with the most exciting news first? I think so.

Okay, here we go:

After writing it back in 2005 I have finally gotten my butt in gear and you are now reading an amateur journal entry from a PUBLISHED AUTHOR!!! That's right, I, Tara, have a book in true book form. Its called "Fighting the Truth" (sound familiar?) and you can pick it up on my publisher's website, [link] other websites like Amazon and Barnes&Noble, and coming soon, even bookstores! It is available in both paperback and hardback and everything you see is a product of meeee! Right down to the cover art, created by yours truly and my confused and impossibly confusing ex boyfriend.

That should roll nicely into my next update. Relationships. Or lack thereof. The reason I'm not on cloud 9 about the book 24/7. Because I'm struggling through possibly one of the most frustrating and painful breakups a girl has to deal with. The kind where the boy still loves you, still wants to be with you, but can't because he's going through some sort of selfish crisis/depression/doesn't know what the hell he wants. Yeah...but he still wants to see the girl. And still lets the girl know he cares. And tells her there's still hope, maybe. And that she should live life and move on but then he calls her back up when she's started to do just that to tell her he wants to see her and he does his mind meld thing and she's back to square 1.

Update #3- Tara has two pretty much full-time jobs. So my lovely ladies and gentleman, my dear friends, I haven't been ignoring you. I have been too exhausted to stay awake long enough to watch my half hour of South Park at 10 on Wednesday nights. I work at a sleep medicine clinic from 9-5 when I go over to swim practice from 6-8 Monday-Friday. Weekends are occupied by swim meets. And while I thoroughly enjoy the majority of both jobs, I am so much more stressed this year than I should be. I'm unhappy in more ways than one.

Which brings me to last update. My dad's passing happened a little over a year ago, and its still a struggle for me to remember who I once was. My creativity feels lost, my brain feels lost, and my emotions are so all over-the-place its like someone is controlling them with a remote. And they like sitting on the remote and programming it do weird things. And though I think about my friends often...its a huge ordeal for me to muster the effort to keep in touch. Because I've lost the will to do a lot that I used to. I think the term is dubbed "depression". Sadly, its still got a hold of me. I'm hoping the recent news of publication will snap me out of it? We'll see.

I miss all of my friends. I'm sorry that I distanced myself.